Listening To My Life

Being real

As a voluptuary, I’m always looking for creature comforts everywhere I go. That’s probably why I’m so fascinated by the self-care amenities some hotels offer their guests.

Last month, when I was at the Grand Hyatt in NYC, I was bemused by a little “kit” in the bathroom, called the Pampering Vanity Kit. Despite my not needing anything I thought would fall under that name at that moment, I had to open it and see what it contained. It held a few cotton balls, two cotton swaps, and an emery board. Verrrrry pampering, that.

This time (I was just there this week), I used the cotton swabs (necessity, not pampering), and took this snap of the whole contraption.

In truth, I would rather have a well-made bed (something Hyatt hotels can’t seem to do to save themselves), than a vanity kit—especially one filled with necessities that aren’t pampering. But it led me to think about presentation, and spin.

Everyone, I suspect, would prefer to make a good impression on others. Even people with a “you see what you get” attitude about themselves vis a vis the rest of the world probably hope, deep inside, that more people than not appreciate their genuineness. So the question came up for me as to why so many people in the professional world talk about authenticity, yet completely spin who they are, and what they do? Is it that, like Hyatt, spinning the mini grooming kit as the Pampering Vanity Kit, they feel they have to seem better, or bigger than they actually are, for people to find them interesting or appealing?  Or is it that we, as a society, expect the grandiose version of absolutely everything?

What do you think? I'd love to hear your comments!

A change in the way I want to experience Bday celebrations

My birthday is a week past, but the celebration isn’t yet over. People I love who couldn’t be with me on the actual date of my birth are still making plans to see me to do just that. What’s not to love, right? And I do love it.

To me, birthdays are the most important days of the year. To me, someone's birthday is a day on which to shout out loud how delighted we are that someone else exists, and is in our lives. Sure, sure, we should let people know how we feel about them every day. I absolutely agree with that. And, I think we can also have one special celebration day (or in my case, it seems to be a birthday month!) for each of them when we very pointedly show them how much they matter.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a post for a blog I no longer write, in which I said that I’d shattered a common practice in my life—that of providing loved ones with lists of gifts I’d like to receive for special occasions. It seemed to me that anyone who loves me ought to be infinitely able to think of a gift I would treasure, and in doing that, the gift would become even more treasured. So I told everyone I would make no more lists. Since then, including this birthday, I’ve been gifted with some of the most heartfelt and remarkable things!

But this birthday, I had an experience that’s calling me to shatter another common practice—that of telling loved ones what I want to do to celebrate my birthday. I realized, in a big way, yesterday, that what I want is for people who want to celebrate with me to plan something for me, and then take me to do it. I mean, it’s great to get to do exactly what I want, eat dinner where I want, meet for group lunches at the restaurant of my choice, based on my whim, but until yesterday, I didn’t consciously realize how much I dislike that.

What showed it to me was that E invited me up to the city for dinner. I arrived shortly after 3p, he met me at the train, and whisked me uptown to the Frick. I’d not been to the Frick, and not being a museum-loving kinda gal, I wondered why in the world he would have taken me there. But it was magical for many reasons, including the Garden Court, where we sat and talked for quite some time.

Leaving the Frick, he took me to dinner at Taj—another place I would never have ended up on my own and am oh-so-happy to have experienced. It’s a very sexy, sultry, delicious sort of place with a zen-like, hedonistic feel (if you can imagine that). We sat in a “cabana,” which is a private area with a sofa with lots of squishy pillows, and had a remarkable dinner. At dinner, he gave me a pair of exquisite earrings. I was just all aglow at being loved so very much.

There was to be more fun in store for me, but we dallied so much at Taj that there really was just enough time to get me back to Penn Station and on my train home.

All the way home I thought about my other loved ones, and our celebrations. They were all very special, and I chose how they'd be, as I'd pretty much done all my life. I chose where, and when, and what. And E’s gift of planning and taking me to such special places made me realize how much I want that level of celebration. I want someone to plan the lunch; I don’t want to have to do the planning.

And part of that is because when I have to do the planning, I tend to plan around what I already know, and what I think will make everyone else happy. I’d prefer for someone to pick an activity, or place that maybe s/he knows about, or has heard about and investigated, and thinks I would enjoy. Then the person could tell me where to go, or better yet, pick me up and take me there. What a delicious thing that would be!

I’m thinking that, at least in America, probably the models I’ve followed are common. I’ve just decided I want a different level of experience on the "celebration of me" days. And it’s a gift I want to give to those I love, too.

Now to figure out whose birthday is coming next, so I can get to planning! :)

How do you celebrate? What models do you and your family follow? I'd be interested in hearing more, so please leave a comment. :)

Sooooooo sweet!

Three pounds. .75 inches...when closed. I bought it the other night, and am so excited to get it (that will be in about three weeks)!

And what does this have to do with bringing what matters into my daily life? First, it's about abundance. I almost never buy the machine I want, because I want to save money. But this thing can boot both ways, making me more productive at higher levels. It's also something I'll want to take along with me more often because of it's weight and size. So I'll be able to work on the fly with more frequency. And mostly--I just wanted it. And I'm not sure there's really a much better reason to buy something than that, is there?

Life is oh-so good :)