Listening To My Life

Diving into change

The whole stacybrice.com (don’t bother looking…there still isn’t anything there) thing, in fact, this whole renewed love of my work thing that came about in June when I spent the day learning from David Neagle, has led to a most unexpected eventuality. I’m changing.

 

Now J has been telling me for months that I'm changing, and I knew that that was true in some ways, but what's happened to me, change-wise, since June has shown it to me with crystal clarity.

 

A story… from the other day, at lunch (we do this a lot) with Dawn, again at the same fav lunch haunt. The day was gorgeous—in fact, our entire summer here has been uncharacteristically so. The host asked if we wanted to eat inside or outside, and Dawn looked to me for the answer, because I tend to wilt in the heat, and she thought for sure I would rather eat inside. I said enthusiastically, “Outside, please!”

 

Dawn looked at me oddly and asked, “Who are you, and what have you done with my best friend?”

 

:)

 

Outside, she, of course, didn’t look at the menu. We always order the same things at this place. I, on the other hand, was trying to decide if I wanted something other than the usual.

 

Again, this time with a bit of a stink-eye, “Who are you, and what have you done with my best friend?”

 

:)

 

And lastly (at least for that day), during lunch, she suggested we do one of our infamous work weekends before my sabbatical begins in October (those of you new to me wouldn’t know that, for the past ten years, I’ve taken a sabbatical at the end of each year—in the most recent years, not working at all during the last quarter of the year). Finishing my bit of Kung Pao chicken, I tossed back casually, “Oh, I’m not taking a sabbatical this year.”

 

“Who ARE you, and WTF have you done with my best friend??”

 

:)

 

I’m here. Really I am. I’m just vibrating differently than a few months ago. And it’s alllllll good. I’m still the person people have known…only infinitely bettah. And man, am I grateful that God has surrounded me with the people closest to me. They’ve loved me this far, and I know that they’re gonna love me even more moving forward.

 

Change is, indeed, a wonderful thing, and I feel like I’m diving, head first, into all of it I can get myself into.

 

More from the “front” as it happens. This is so exciting! :D

 

On friendship

I have to say that since I voiced the intention to only have people in my life who find me precious, some of my relationships have faltered, and some of them have soared. No coincidence there.

Of those that have soared, are the relationships with Dawn, Lee, and Antonette. I mention them together because the four of us have formed a very special bond. And while I’m uber-grateful for every one of them individually, this four-way bond has become incredibly important to me, and I know to all of them.

It’s like the Ya-Ya Sisterhood meets the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants…and then some. And although we didn’t grow up with each other, in many ways, it feels to me like they’ve been woven into the very fabric of my soul forever.

I remember when I was 11, and my best friend, Karen and I were inseparable. There was a classmate of ours—Kathy, who lived just down the street, and wanted to be part of “us.” It felt immeasurably hard, and my mother told me then that “two works best,” when it comes to friendships, because then there could be no rivalry or jealousy around spending time with others.

And maybe it’s because we’re all grown up, and committed to relational maturity, but I swear…I’ve never felt that there’s any rivalry or jealousy with us. I’m happy when I hear that Lee and Dawn are meeting for lunch. And I know that Dawn and Lee were delighted that Antonette (AA, from here on out) and I were meeting for cheesecake. Envious? Yeah—I think any of us who can’t attend what they others are doing together feels envious, because she wishes she could be there. But never jealousy or rivalry, or anything even remotely like that. And I feel so blessed that that’s so.

I also feel blessed that we can be different, and yet free to be ourselves. I know so many people who feel they have to put on a face with friends (maybe so they can be assured they’ll retain the friendships?), but the girls and I, well, let’s just say that pretense just isn’t a part of who we are together.

You’d have seen that, I think, if you’d been sitting at one of the tables near us when we lunched yesterday at Greystone. We were there to celebrate my birthday, and it was quite the celebration. I felt so very loved and seen, and…able to be me.

The last time we were at Greystone, it had been to celebrate Lee’s and Laura’s birthdays. And I gave Lee a birthday card….a lovely Hallmark creation with a show girl on the front, wearing pasties with fringe. There was a little crank on the front that, when turned, made the woman bobble her head back and forth, and the fringe on her boobs twirl. It really was quite the hit of the celebration (as you might imagine). The card has, apparently, taken up permanent residence on Lee’s desk in her office, and provides quite the day brightener from time to time!

So I was delighted, but not exactly surprised, to see the card re-appear at my birthday lunch—this time, with my little face taped on top of the show girl’s face. My bobbling head and twirling pasties made for quite a lot of laughter yesterday, too, and Lee even offered to let me take the card home till the next bday (Dawn’s—in October). Gracious, she is, but I demurred…I really didn’t want to take all her twirling day brightening away!

Take a peek… :)

Back at home, and even a day later, I’m just so full of them. And although they gave me lovely, lovely gifts, truly, for me, the greatest gift of all is of their love, friendship, and the bond we share that grows ever deeper every time we’re together.

Today, I wish all of you such amazingly good friendships!

On friendship

I got a lovely surprise from K tonight--a little gift book with quotations about friendship, called Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. Ours (hers and mine) is just in the blooming stage, it's really quite lovely (beyond lovely, in fact), and so this book was the perfect gift. I haven't asked her, but I suspect she chose it for me, as much for the title as for the quotations it contains, as she knows how I feel about having a chosen family.

In it, there's a quotation I wanted to share with you all; I'm a quotation lover, but had never seen this one!

Friends bring out the beautiful things in each other
that no one else looks hard enough to find.

-- unknown

I know that that's absolutely true of my dear friends. And I am always amazed, thrilled, and grateful when one of them truly sees me. When it happens, I feel vulnerable, but safely so, and completely able to be authentic. Those, to me, are the best gifts that come from friendship!