Two weeks yesterday. It’s hard to believe that I felt so crappy, or was so miserable just a short time ago when today I can joyfully say that my energy is back, and so is my mental clarity. And I've lost 29lbs--what's not to love about that, or about what I've done?
I’ve been thinking a lot about struggle—this being the year of ease for me and all that.
One of the reasons I decided to have the surgery was that I was tired of struggling—with weight, with diabetes, with sciatica, with headaches, with, well, probably more than I even knew I was struggling with because it was my life and my daily reality.
The easy way out? Absolutely. Did I mention that the day after surgery I was off seven of eight of my prescription meds? Or that I used to take three Aleve each day for sciatica, and haven't taken anything for it since surgery? It's a miraculous easy way out.
But even as some of my friends keep questioning the radical nature of my having the surgery, I can’t help questioning the radical nature that kept me stuck for so many years, struggling in my body.
"Struggle is part of my DNA." I will never forget the day Jessica said that to me, and I knew in a nanosecond that It was my truth, too. It's what started the year of ease, and I've learned, and continue to learn, so very much.
We all make choices. And some people chose to lose gobs of weight over long periods of time following incredibly strict diets. For me, that particular tact didn’t work, nor did Jenny Craig, Weigh Watchers, E-diets, or Atkins, and I finally just decided that no one was going to pin any awards on my chest for fighting the good, but never-ending fight.
So I chose easy and quick, and 29lbs surely attests to that in one context, but this continues to not be without it’s slight struggles, too. I’m at the stage where I can eat “soft” foods, but finding out what my new little tummy can handle is no walk in the park, trust me. That scrambled egg I was so looking forward to on Sunday? Feh. It sat like a lump in the middle of my stomach for an hour. An EGG. Tuna salad is easier—but only a little. Cottage cheese is the best, to date, although liquids still rule in the ease category. I’ve not thrown anything up (yay!), and the strangest thing (to me) so far is that I burp a bit after I eat. I was never very gassy, and I hope this goes away and soon.
On the whole, this is the most remarkable thing I’ve ever done for myself. (I'm qualifying it..."for myself" because I posted this thought to Facebook yesterday and Chris reminded me that I've done some pretty big things)