Anew: Just another update ;)

Dawn pointed out yesterday that I'd not blogged in three days. Hey--I've been busy healing! ;)

I have nothing extraordinary to report--that's really it. Saw the doc yesterday--everything's fine. Managing to get in all my protein and liquids--so I guess I'm playing the game well. My ankles aren't at all swollen anymore. Did I mention that I'm off of seven of eight RX meds? LOVE that (and in case I didn't mention it, it happened the day after surgery).

As of this morning, I'm down 20lbs. I admit--that feels fanfuckintastic. And my body parts seem to fit together slightly differently. I wondered how that could be possible, and realized that although I've gained and lost this specific 20lbs probably 15 times, I've never done it in ten days. So, sure, my bits are going to feel like they fit differently, and my noticing is just heightened because of the extraordinarily shortened time frame it's happened in. Gotta keep that in mind. Everything about this is different than anything I've ever experienced before.

Oh, and I've found what I can't eat. The first, I'm sure. Pudding. Or, at least, pudding with protein powder mixed in. Tried that last night, and my stomach started rebelling in very unattractive ways. Maybe it's just too thick, or heavy. Whatever, it got me to stop immediately.

Truth is--proteins shakes are just easiest. Everything else is either disgusting, or just odd. I keep looking for alternatives, because drinking a shake four times/day is getting old. But I'm really not finding anything that's jazzing me, so, maybe it's time to surrender to the shake.

Nights are difficult. Dunno why. I'm not hungry at ALL during the day. 9pm rolls around, and I am DYING for something warm and solid. Can't really tell if I'm genuinely hungry (cause I don't have the hormone that signals that, anymore), but I feel SOMETHING. And now I know that I have greater willpower than I thought myself to have, because I haven't eaten anything.

But I swear...Sunday, when I eat for the first time, I know that experience is going to be full-on orgasmic. And I can't wait. First up? A scrambled egg. Never thought I'd be so excited about a scrambled egg, but this not eating thing is getting very old. So, yeah... a scrambled egg. And there will be much rejoicing in the land.

Comments

[Jess]

I loved reading this! xo xo xo

[M]

I've been following your posts for quite some time S. I've glad that you've found something that is working for you and that, although difficult, is not insurmountable and the ends absolutely justify the means.

I know that I shouldn't say this, but maybe I have to. There hasn't been a day that has passed that you have not crossed my mind. Not one. you have a hold on me that I just can not break.

Anyway, I hope the operation brings you all the joy that you hope. And that this journey brings you closer to yourself.

M.

[Dawn]

I only pointed out that you hadn't blogged in three days because you said, "If you loved me, you'd read my blog." I've been reading your blog, and you haven't posted anything in three days! Do you know how often I go to your blog and hit refresh?!

Because I love you. :)

Enjoy the scrambled egg on Sunday. Will you or Dom fix it, or will you go somewhere for special scrambled egg?

[Antonette]

Hallelujah, sister! :) I bet I'll hear the rejoicing all the way in Waldorf! :)

[Wendy Cholbi]

I'm so glad to hear you're recovering well and looking forward to your delectable egg!

I'm inspired by the courage you're showing in sharing your journey with us online. I just caught up with your blog entries in a big chunk and realized that your surgery came just two days before someone else I love had (a different type of) abdominal surgery, and many of the things you're describing about the recovery process ring true for me (as an observer, anyway).

And by the way... I loved that you said you were going to become a Shivanaut! I know that may seem light-years away right now (since you're still concentrating on walking, sipping, and breathing), but I'll be happy to wax enthusiastic about the Wacky Dance anytime you need a cheerleader.